SpiritBeautifulRevolution

Surrender to what?  Doesn’t that imply, or overtly state, “giving up”?

After all, who wants to wave the white flag at dreams and goals you’ve fought so long and hard to achieve?

My friends, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was told when I was 16 by a friend of mine that “no one likes a quitter”. How could she have known that an innocent statement on her part could have been taken so literally by me and caused me so much pain later in life? That is, until, deliberately or inadvertently, I “gave up” the fight on so many seemingly unattainable goals, and as a result got so much more out of my dreams.

The problem with fighting for your dreams and goals is that very often the fight comes from a place of fear – the fear of not achieving, of not getting, of being made a fool.  Fear, as I am sure you are aware, is a very negative place to be.

When we fear, our vibration is low (yes, here we go again) and often we lack appreciation for all that we have.  We are so wrapped up in the struggle, heroically slogging away every day, constantly obsessing over what we want or don’t yet have, we don’t take the time to rest or see the positive.  Fatigue doesn’t usually lend itself to clarity, as I’m sure you are aware. When we are tired (spiritually or otherwise) we make bad decisions and are generally not very nice to be around. Now, looking at it from an energetic point of view, when we are cranky and miserable, do you think that anyone positive is going to want to be around us?

I didn’t think so.

When you have laid all of the ground work for your goals, and made an active effort to pursue and realize them, at some point if nothing is working, does it not make sense to just “let go and let God”?  The ultimate act of faith and trust is to TRUST that if your goal is truly meant for you, that it will come to you. Maybe not in the package that you are demanding (or hoping/wishing/dreaming for), but perhaps in something better than you could have imagined?

Let’s imagine a scenario that probably has happened several times in human history. I know that I’ve seen it about ½ dozen times in my life,and I’m not that old. (I’m pretty sure I’ve pulled this on my parents, too, when I was little).

A little kid and her mom are at the grocery store, at the check out, and little Molly sees a candy bar.

“Mommy, can I have this”, she asks, full of hope and anticipation.

“No, sweetie, we are having a surprise after supper, and this will spoil it.”  Mummies really do know best, sometimes. (Ok, most of the time)

“But I REALLY want it NOW!  I don’t care about the surprise, I WANT the candy bar NOW!”  Petulant, the child looks like she is going to go into orbit in about 10 seconds as her colour builds and eyes bulge.

“NO, you will have to wait, don’t you want to know what the surprise is? Everyone is going to have some, and it’s going to be so yummy.”  Mommy is trying her darnedest to be patient, while onlookers at the store try to ignore the imminent implosion of the child.

Suddenly, the child throws herself onto the floor in a fit of passion and rage. More than a little p.o.’d, her mom drops her groceries, picks the child up and leaves the store. (don’t you wish more parents would do that?) 

So, they get home, little darling gets sent to her room and SURPRISE, everyone gets ice cream cake for dessert, except for Molly. And all because she couldn’t trust her mom that something was coming along that was better than a cheap old chocolate bar.

So, replace the elements in the above story with the following:

You are Molly, the little darling…

Your mom is God, or the Universe (Universal energy)…

The candy bar is the vision you think you want…the one for which you are willing to throw yourself down in a fit of passion…

The ice cream cake is the even better surprise that the Universe (God) has in store for you… but of course you don’t get any because you were being a brat.

Guess what, folks?  You get nothing because you are so willing to settle for your idea of what your goal or vision should be, and how you should get it, that you can’t trust that God might deliver you something that’s infinitely more satisfying and in a way that’s much more fun.  Instead, when you fear that you’re not going to get something, you act in a way that in essence prevents you from achieving anything.

How’s that for the art of surrender? 

So, the next time you really, really, really, want something, at some point, you are going to have to give up the fight and let your desire leave your psyche and head out into the universal pool of energy. Only when you let something go is it able to pick up enough energy to come back to you; only when you trust that there is a reason for everything that happens, or not, are you on track to achieving your goals.

Now, go surrender - and have some ice cream cake while you’re at it.

© SBR SpiritBeautifulRevolution 2008

www.spiritbeautiful.com

Fear isn’t always a bad thing. Fear can keep you from going down a dark alley, or from getting on an elevator with someone who “just doesn’t feel right”.  Fear is a primal instinct that can save our lives, and for that reason, must be respected.

Fear doesn’t serve us, however, when it becomes irrational and keeps us from striving for a goal that we want to achieve, paralyzing us into inaction. The inner voice we hear that tells us “You’ll fail and look like a fool” is sometimes so overwhelming that we don’t even try to affect change in our lives, but keep going through the motions, leaving our dreams to collect dust in the recesses of our minds.

But is that really fear?  Or is it the insecure ego shouting for attention, willfully keeping your goals low so that you don’t risk embarrassment by not-quite-attaining a lofty dream?  And is this fear really about failure, or is it about success so incredible that your life would completely turn upside down if your dreams were realized?  “Fear” that keeps us from pursuing goals isn’t really fear at all, then. Instead, it is a ploy from weak ego that prefers the relative safety of the status quo instead of the possibility of real success.

So, what do you do?  There are tons of things, here are a few:

1)     realize that your fears are put in place by your insecure ego to “protect” you

2)     thank your ego for its good intention, but the cancel the negative thought, and imagine the best possible outcome. Then tell it “Thanks for your concern, but I have the audacity to dream big, so you can just sit there and keep quiet”

3)     keep canceling the negative thoughts, please. You know you have them. Every time you imagine the changes that will come into your life when you finally achieve your dream(s), panic and terror will raise their ugly heads to keep you in line.  Be a rebel, and do what is really in your heart, no matter how small your beginning steps are.

4)     practice techniques which help neutralize the conscious or subconscious fears you may have. 

5)     when you have neutralized your fears, practice affirmations, such as “Everything that happens is for my highest good, and I surrender completely and joyfully to the will of God (or in whomever you believe)

Fear is like that nasty little kid in your neighbourhood that lurks behind the tree at dusk, waiting to pounce on you when you least expect it.  By the light of day, this same nasty little kid is just insecure and needs to take out his or her frustration on someone. And really, he’s not all that intimidating now, is he, once you see him for who he really is.  Have some compassion, but stand up for yourself.  Are you going to be the person who lets your dreams and desires fall victim to the bully that your ego has become?  Or are you going to stand strong in the face of adversity, and stake your claim to the unlimited success that is your birthright?

According to the Law of Attraction, what you focus on you will surely get, so does it make sense to focus on your fears?  Or would it make more sense to keep your eye on the proverbial prize - after all, according to a Maori proverb “Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you“

Feel the fear, acknowledge it, forgive it, then forget it.  Begin to move relentlessly toward what your heart really desires, no matter how unreachable or impossible your dreams seem to be.

© SpiritBeautifulRevolution 2008

I complained I had no shoes until I saw a man that had no feet.
                                                                                                                            Author Unknown

Do you ever remember doing something for someone, and hardly being acknowledged for it?  Going that extra mile, trying to do your best, and being totally disrespected and disregarded in spite of your best efforts?

I do, and it sucks. 

Nothing makes me feel more ornery than someone who is ungracious and ungrateful towards something they’ve received, especially if it’s me who’s done the giving.

I really think that the Universe is like that. If you can imagine the Universe someone who gives the best of him or herself, then would you not say that a little gratitude is in order even when the gift isn’t perfect?

As an employee, if you went the extra mile every day to do a fantastic job, then your boss called you into her office to say that she has too much to do, and is going to pass more your way, how would you feel?  My guess is that you’d tell her (or at least want to tell her) where she could stick her “extra work”. (and it wouldn’t be pretty)  How motivated would you be to take on more?  My guess is that your motivation would quickly diminish to “if it’s not in my contract, I’m not doing it” levels.  After all, if your best isn’t good enough, why would you give more?

When you do something for someone, even if it’s not exactly what they wanted, but you did your best with what you had, it feels really awful to have them display a lack of gratitude.

Now, look at the Universe and what it’s given you. Even if your life isn’t perfect, can you think of a time when you weren’t grateful for what you had?  The vibrational level of disdain or displeasure is very low.  If you’re vibrating at a low level, what type of things are you going to manifest?  You guessed it, Einstein, you are going to get more crap.

If you turn it around, even though the “gifts” weren’t perfect, can you think of something to be grateful for?  How much higher do you think your vibration has risen in response to gratitude?  Now that you are vibrating at a higher level, since like attracts like, what type of things are you going to manifest?  More things you can be grateful for.

Example:  I would love to own my own home.  I have yet to envision the perfect home, but I know the qualities of its essence and how it will make me feel.  This could go one of 2 ways:  I can be bitter for not owning my own home (yet), which lowers my vibration and attracts more things of an equally low vibration,

OR … I can be grateful for the cozy, quiet apartment, where the rent is cheap, my utilities are included, I have a fantastic harbour view and I am one block from one of the main shopping districts (and only a 10 minute walk from my favourite pub)

TRUST me!  I choose to be grateful, because I know that as long as I keep my eye on the prize, and love the essence of what I want, I will get it. 

By-the-way – I manifested this bachelorette-pad of mine.  Yes sirreee, I sure did.  I wrote down all of the qualities and details of my home, and let the Universe take care of the “How”. I didn’t beg, I didn’t obsess, I just believed that somewhere in this city I call home, I would find it. (In my heart I felt that what I was asking for was realistic, and that’s something else I did right for myself at that point in time.  Since then, my concept of what is possible for me has grown considerably, stay tuned for my next manifestation). 

This apartment was the only one I looked at, because while it wasn’t perfect, it was perfect for me. I didn’t get everything I wanted (no balcony, no washer/dryer), but I came pretty damn close.  And you know what?  It’s fine.  I’m happy, and I am truly grateful for my little oasis of peace when I get home at night.

So the next time you’re complaining that you don’t like your home, imagine how it would feel to live in a cardboard box. Having a hard time?  Go sit outside in a snowstorm on a park bench for a few hours.  Are you feeling any gratitude for the roof over your head now?

You don’t like what your partner cooked for dinner?  Suck-it-up, princess. At least you have food on your table, and trust me, there are probably millions of people who would trade places with you for even for one bowl of mac and cheese.

My point is this – a little bit of gratitude goes a long way.  Now, go make a list of things that you have to be grateful for, and if you’re having a hard time, start with breathing.   The Universe will “appreciate” your gratitude.

Now that you know what you don’t want in your life, it’s time to have a little fun and think about what you do want.  If you have a hard time narrowing things down, you are not alone.

It’s not as easy as you thought, now, is it?

Identifying what you want has to go beyond “a nice car, a nice home” or “to be happy”. Who doesn’t want all of that?  To really narrow things down, then, think about how you want to feel – because when you “feel” something, as we have already discussed, your vibration will change accordingly.  Have a look at what could already “be” in your life, or what you could get that would help you achieve that feeling. 

Let’s say, for example, that you want to own your own home.  How would owning your own home feel?  In your mind’s eye, how would you feel when driving up to your home?  Excited, happy?  Where is your home located?  At the end of a long, winding driveway, surrounded by fields and hills?  How about overlooking the ocean, and smelling the salt air, hearing the waves crash? 

How would you feel as you open the front door?  Ideally, a home should be your safe place, a place of love, comfort and peace.  Let yourself feel that, and anything else positive you can associate with your home. 

Take it a bit further. How is your home decorated?  There’s no point in envisioning modern elegance if you prefer rustic comfort, because you won’t get the same feeling from it – and it is your fantasy, after all.  Hey, as you’re imagining all of this, play some music that evokes the feelings you want to get from your home (everyone’s different, remember, so that’s completely up to you). Envision pets, a partner, art, furniture, the view from your rooftop deck…oops, that’s mine, my apologies. You create your fantasy as you wish. 

Think about the number of bedrooms, the layout, draw a floor plan, think about your garden. After all, as Gloria Steinem once stated “Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”

The point is you need to feel passionate and excited, it will greatly enhance the process, and we know that passion will set things in motion, even if we can’t see it with our own eyes.  Our passion today can become our reality tomorrow, provided we don’t get in our own way.

I think that a vision board is a great tool, so go ahead and use one.  Don’t think about how you’re going to achieve, let a higher power figure that out. Don’t try to control how grandiose your dreams are – when you ask for your dream person, situation or object, ask “for all of this or something better”. Don’t limit yourself, because our universe is limitless, and you can be, too.  For some more pointers, you may want to check out  www.spiritbeautiful.com .  When negative thoughts creep into your dream-time, just say “stop” or “cancel” and immediately turn your attention to the good stuff.

Avoid desperation and doubt. Give yourself some time every day to imagine your desire with passion and joy, and then let it go. It’s out there, if you keep the faith, it will find its way to you eventually.

                                                                                                                               SBR

© SpiritBeautifulRevolution 2008

One of the first things that you should do in utilizing the Law of Attraction is to identify what you don’t want in your life (see http://www.spiritbeautiful.com/law-of-attraction.html  for more pointers).  Even more importantly, you need to identify why you don’t want it.  And sometimes, my friends, this is not as clear as you may think.

You may look at your job, for example, and know that you hate it.  First of all, to hate is an emotion which requires a lot of passion (fuel) to even exist, so you’re focusing on something using a lot of energy… but I digress…

Why do you hate your job?  Is it the type of work you do, your environment, your boss, your co-workers, your paycheck?  All of the above?  Great, now break it down into smaller chunks so you can more easily analyze it.  That’s right, get out your pen and paper and stick with this.

Let’s say you can’t stand your boss.  Now, why is that?  What do they say or do (or don’t say and do) and how does it make you feel?  For example, let’s say that there was an oversight on a client file of which you made your boss aware. He said he’d deal with it, but now let’s say that since you passed the responsibility to where it rightfully belongs,  somehow it slipped his mind. Six months later, the mistake has come to light, and your boss is trying to pin this on you. How do you feel?  My guess is that you’re angry about being a scapegoat (and yes, you have every right to be).  Let me ask you this – how is this anger going to serve you?  Oh wait, let me tell you – it’s not.  If you sit and fester about this,  it will become a carbuncle on the behind of your life.  Now, turn it around -  what can you learn from this?

(Ok, this is a whole other topic, but I have to say it – document everything! Trust me on this, I have had employers in the past who have tried to make me the scapegoat for their screw ups and it’s not fun, but documenting things will cover your behind in a pinch)

So, you don’t like your boss because he won’t accept responsibility for his mistakes, and tries to blame you. Bravo!  And you know that you get pissed off when stuff like this happens.  You have been disrespected and unappreciated for having lived up to the role you were given (in your job description, which just so happens to change whenever your boss doesn’t want to do something and tries to pass it on to you.)

Once you figure out how to deal with it, you can then look at the situation from another perspective – and trust me, most of life is all about perspective.  So, now you can say this about the type of boss you want to work for – you would like to be respected for the work that you do, and the contribution you make to your company. You would like to work with people who are mature and reliable, and accept responsibility for mistakes they make, but also give credit where credit is due. You want to be a member of a team that works well as a unit, and is supportive of all of its members.  When you work in this environment and for this type of boss, you will feel happy and peaceful, and that you are a contributing member of the staff. 

See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

By identifying what you don’t want, and why you don’t want it, this will open the door to the possibility of realizing what you do want.                                                

                                                                                                                                   SBR

© SpiritBeautifulRevolution 2008

The law of attraction seems to be an elusive thing. In spite of all that I’ve heard about it, sometimes I wondered just how effective it is, and if I was even capable of using it in my own life. Certainly, it seemed to work for some people, this state of deliberate attraction, so I decided to look into my past and try to find out where stating my desires and putting them “out there” actually caused anything to happen for me.

It didn’t take that long, really, to see how this phenomenon had manifested itself in my life repeatedly, and it surely happened long before I knew what it was or what I was doing.

Just for starters:

I remember as a child desperately wanting a pony.  I was utterly, completely obsessed with it from about the age of 4, or so I’m told. Every Easter, birthday, grading and Christmas holiday it was the only thing I asked for. I dreamt about it, read about, imagined it.  I saw my pony in my dreams, and felt so much love for her it consumed me… Pretty intense for a child, but that is the only way to describe how I felt. My love and desire knew no boundaries, and I held on to the dream, yet sometimes it seemed so unrealistic.

It seemed so unrealistic and elusive, in fact, that I eventually gave up hope (after 6 years), and instead turned my focus from wanting something I didn’t have, to the resources I had available to me. I rode neighbours’ horses in exchange for barn work. I did a billion things around the house to pay for riding lessons at summer camps, I began (uggghhh) to babysit for the means to buy myself the needed equipment for my seldom-indulged passion.

I eventually joined a riding club, and used a fellow member’s horse for my lessons. The currency for this favour was a bag of feed, which I paid for out of my babysitting money.  Finally, the constant obessing was over, and I just accepted that I would be a borrower of ponies from children luckier than I. I did, however, actually feel privileged to be part of this exclusive club, and committed and focused as much on the effort as I had the dream. It brought me incredible joy, and while I could barely get out of bed for school, if a pony was involved, I was up before sunrise, always the first one in the barn in the morning, the last one out at night.

I’ll make a long story short – I got my pony, much to my surprise. My parents, and probably the universe, felt my passion and answered its call.  I remember the day my dad (God bless him) told me we were going to look at a pony. The rest is history, and the Law of Attraction had appeared for the first time to me.  (and her name was Jill and she was wonderful)

Now, even if you can’t stand horses, I hope that you can see some of the steps involved in the process of this “elusive” thing, this “universal truth”. I am utterly convinced that the universe responds to passion, so you may want to be careful what you feel passionate about, because I believe it is not only the fuel, but the roadmap, for the Law of Attraction.

That was just the beginning. Several times through the course of my life the Law of Attraction has worked for me, and not always in a good way.  As a Registered Massage Therapist I worked for 2 years in a physiotherapy clinic, primarily rehabilitating patients who had been in motor vehicle accidents (MVA’s).  I was sucked into their pain, I felt it, too, at least on an emotional level. It was constantly around me and I could not shield myself from the hurt and anger these people felt.  I became as obsessed and angry as they were.

After leaving this job (for other reasons, most of which are related to the LoA, I’m sure), I entered a brief but frustrating period of under-employment. In my frustration one night I sat on my bed and wrote exactly what I wanted from a new placement, including location, pay, environment etc.  I still remember writing it down, and also putting my note pad into an old bag that was barely used. Interesting enough, I found it the following spring, nearly a year after the day I wrote it. And to my surprise (at the time) I had received exactly what I had asked for.

However, a year later, I was in a terrible car accident. Did my previous, intense obsession, and perhaps an (unconscious) desire for drama manifest itself into the horror of such an event?  From the outside, most people would say “no”, but since I am beginning to understand just how the Law of Attraction, now I am not so sure. Did my inner victim and drama queen bring something into my life that I should never have thought about at all, or at least should not have focused on?  You tell me.

My whole point is this:  look back at your life, and try to see instances where this Law of Attraction may have manifested itself. Call it what you will, self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever, chances are you’ve experienced it.

Now ask yourself this:  what are your thoughts NOW, and are they in line with the type of life you want, or are they fearful or pessimistic?  Do you keep drawing the same type of people or situations into your life – i.e. passive-aggressive boss, emotionally absent partners, friends you can’t trust etc?  If you are repeating patterns, then maybe you need to look deeper within yourself, and what you’re putting out there.  If you do this, then you’ll move from a “victim” mode of a very low vibration, to a pro-active participant in your own life, which definitely is of a higher vibration and will result in the appearance of more positive people, things and events.

Stayed tuned for my next article submission which may break the Law of Attraction into easier-to-digest chunks for you.

And remember - Happy thoughts!                 SBR

© SpiritBeautifulRevolution 2008

I am not a supermodel.

No surprise there, I guess, that of the X billion women on the planet, a paltry, minuscule percentage of us meet the criteria, and I am not one of them.

Does that mean I am not beautiful?  No, probably not. Even though I am only 5’2”, slightly voluptuous, with hair that isn’t as thick as it used to be, I probably am beautiful, at least to some people.

Funny thing is, though, I don’t feel beautiful.  In fact, even though I manage to pull off a façade of confidence, inside of me is a little girl who feels she just doesn’t measure up.

We can blame it on society and the media, and the unrealistic expectations placed on us as human beings, this unrealistic quest for “perfection”. I know that when I look at a magazine, I don’t see the airbrushed and staged image for what it really is. When faced with an image of perfection, I always feel a little uglier, a little “less”, and unfortunately this carries over into other areas of my life.

It’s very sad to me that I can’t appreciate my body for what it is, and what it can do for me. In spite of the fact that I can climb the side of a mountain from sea level to 2700 feet in the span of 2 or 3 hours, somehow I feel I don’t measure up. Even though I have survived a terrible car accident and have rebounded to “almost new”, I often fail to remember the miracle in that, and to appreciate the strength of my body. That my heart beats like it should, and even faster when I feel joy, still doesn’t resonate with me.

I was watching one of my best friends with her daughter not too long ago, a child of 5 who is confident and loving, and what struck me at that time is that my friend never skimps on praise of her little one. I am sure that even if this child didn’t measure up to common standards of beauty, her mother would still tell her she was beautiful, because she is. This little miracle has heard that she is beautiful from the day she was born, and she carries herself with confidence in this knowing.  In spite of all of the challenges that she will undoubtedly face in life, her mother is doing her best to ensure that her spirit is whole and honoured.

What is the most painful to me is that I don’t recall ever being told by my parents or family that I was beautiful.  What I remember is them saying that friends of mine, or other people’s children, were beautiful, but never me. Instead, I remember my mother trying to tame my naturally curly hair into a hairstyle that didn’t suit it.  I remember being told I couldn’t have another cookie because I was chubby. I remember the constant criticism for my weight, my hair, my crooked teeth, etc etc. I am sure that family members didn’t mean to be cruel, but what else can you call it?  I certainly don’t think they realized the pain that such comments caused, I do know that there is much denial, as if the pain of recalling their own imperfections is too much to bear. Did they realize that not only did they hurt my spirit, but that essentially they were hurting theirs as well?  How can you cause someone else pain and not feel some of that pain yourself, even if it is at a deep, visceral spiritual level that you choose not to acknowledge?  It stays with you, whether or not it is recognized.  It darkens the light of your soul, and makes you less than you are meant to be.

When I did stretch upward and become really thin, I was still reminded that if I ate too much I would gain weight. Now tell me - who in their right mind tells a 14 year old girl who is active and athletic that she needs to watch her weight, instead of encouraging her to eat well?  Apparently, my family must have had several brain farts, because I was never told this and the criticism continued.  Now at the present time, however, it is non-verbal, because my family has learned the hard way that my retaliation will be swift and extremely rude, even if we’re in public. The new approach is a dirty look if I have an extra cookie, thank-you very much, or having a magazine with a new diet dropped “innocently” on the coffee table in front of me… you get the picture. And I’m not even fat, for God’s sake.  When will this bullshit ever end?

A few weeks ago I was visiting my family, and we were going through old pictures. From a distance I saw a beautiful girl of 12 or 13 hugging my dog, and I was more than a little irritated at this intrusion into our family album. When I asked Mom who it was, she said it was me. I didn’t believe her until I looked close up, and to my surprise… 

It was me.  And I was stunning.

Disbelief turned to anger at the failings of my parents. Who were they to withhold the truth from me? Even if I had been butt ugly, wasn’t it their responsibility to tell me that I was beautiful anyway?  Would I believe that I was beautiful today, in spite of all of the negative body standards, had I been told this during my developmental years?  Probably, though there is no guarantee. But I do know this - had I heard it, then I would always have believed at some level that the people who are supposed to love me the most though that I was beautiful.  For this reason alone I would feel like I had earned the right to give of my beautiful self to the world.

What I’m trying to impart to you is this – even though you may have heard only criticism in your life, you are more beautiful than you realize. And I realize that physical beauty is only a small and (allegedly) insignificant portion of what it means to be beautiful. However, who doesn’t want to feel that they measure up to at least some of the standards of what it means to be physically beautiful?

I want to stress to those of you with young people in your lives  – For God’s sake, tell them you think they are beautiful. EVEN (and especially) if they’re not.  Because I can guarantee you this one simple truth – if they hear it, they’ll believe it, and when they believe it, they will live it.

When a person feels beautiful, he or she has the confidence to face the world and give the best of him or herself, not hide in shame for a perceived sin of being physically imperfect.  When a person feels beautiful, they see the beauty in others. From a spiritual perspective, sharing a simple but positive, life-affirming belief will raise not only your vibrational level, but that of everyone with whom you interact.

In a world of darkness, shouldn’t we try to seek the light? When surrounded by negativity, how can it do anything but make the world a better place if we acknowledge the inherent, divine beauty with which we were born, in ourselves and in those around us?  We should all feel beautiful just by virtue of existing on this earth. Just by being born, we have the right to feel beautiful.

Now, here’s a challenge for you: 

Tell someone, better yet, tell everyone, whom you love that you think that he or she is beautiful. Look him or her in the eye, and say it with feeling and conviction.  You can’t begin to know how that will impact them.  Something so small could have the potential to change the course of someone’s life, you just never know.

Next - look in the mirror, and say it to yourself, with passion and feeling. “I am beautiful, and I am a reflection of the divine beauty that created me.” Find something about yourself that you like, and don’t quit, keep saying it until you believe it, because it is true.

You ARE beautiful, and it is your responsibility to share it with the world. Now stop lolly-gagging and go do it. The world needs the best you have to give, it needs your divine beauty.

What role does passion play in your life?  What role does passion play in achievement?  What is the relationship between being passionate and being spiritual?

I have asked myself this several times throughout the last year or so, but today I witnessed the results of passion. As I sat in awe of the performers of Riverdance, as the energy brought tears to my eyes, it struck me – nothing great is ever achieved without passion.

What makes someone keep going in striving to reach a goal when there is nothing else left?  What makes a young dancer keep going in spite of the odds that s/he will not reach a position of privilege in a dance company or show?  What makes a researcher discover breakthroughs in medicine that will benefit millions of people? What makes a teacher stay up to all hours of the night painstakingly putting together curriculum that inspires even one student who will change the world? It’s passion.

Passion is the fire to have such single-minded focus that you can’t imagine failing. It’s just not an option.

Passion is the reason to keep going when it just doesn’t make sense to continue.

Passion is the difference between “a good job” and “achieving beyond your wildest dreams.”  Passion is the difference between existing, “doing all right”, and really living.

Passion is fragile, it needs to be nurtured, and sometimes the most adverse of circumstances provide the fuel for the fire. I think of upcoming actors and how the odds are so against them even landing a paying gig, let alone winning an Oscar. BUT, it happens (one example is, of course, my all-time favorite actor Matt Damon J). Is it dumb luck? Maybe there’s a little bit of that involved.  Is it talent? There’s probably a lot of raw talent that is required. But what good is luck and talent if a person doesn’t have the fire to get up everyday and follow through on what needs to be done, to take action?  Matt Damon sure didn’t get where he is by sitting on his butt and eating cheese doodles all day. (and trust me on this, you won’t get where you want to go by doing nothing, either)

Instead, in spite of all odds, he had the passion to stick it out when common sense (or maybe people in his life) should have told him to quit. (disclaimer: I am not suggesting that Matt Damon doesn’t have common sense, because I think he’s lovely). And he is not alone in his achievement. I think of people in other industries, with other talents, who have taken a passion for something and turned it into something BIG.  These people definitely march to the beat of their own drums, because following your passion isn’t for conformists, weaklings, sissies or “yes” men and women. It takes courage to follow that fire in your belly, especially when the people whom you love the most are discouraging you. Perhaps they think they are doing you a favour, giving you a reality check – or maybe they can’t imagine a life that is beyond the confines of what they already know.  In the end, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, because this life is yours, and if you don’t live it, no one else is going to do it for you.  And wouldn’t it be unfortunate to reach the end of your days, and look back and regret the chances you didn’t take?

After seeing Riverdance today, I had to sit down and evaluate what the heck passion means to me, and how it is related to the more spiritual path I’m trying to forge. I realized that passion for me means rediscovering the lost part of myself that is bigger than the desk job where I spend 40 hours a week. It is honourable, this work I do, we do, whatever it is. To be responsible, to contribute to society, to pay our taxes - there is nothing wrong with that.  That in and of itself, however, is pretty dull. There are some of us who want MORE, and there’s nothing wrong with that either.  Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we followed our hearts and dreams and contributed with all of the passion in our bodies, instead of grudgingly giving 40 hours a week and hoping to win the lottery so we can quit and do what we really want?

Maybe the lottery that’s really worth winning is the one where the winner takes a chance and does what he loves, and loves what he does.  Perhaps the real challenge is to admit what makes our hearts sing, and find a way to partake and be responsible to ourselves?  I’m not talking about being selfish to the point where your family suffers. I’m talking about building something for yourself that helps you be the best person you can be, so you can give the best of yourself to yourself, to those you love and to the world. Wouldn’t THAT be fantastic? Our world could be a true utopia if more people contributed their unique passions and talents.

What I do know is that passion can be lost, found, born, altered – it changes because we change as people as we go through various rites of passage and life stages. That’s OK, it’s healthy and normal. What I think is important is that you look at who you really are at this very moment (because Now is all there is), as difficult as that may be, and admit what sets your heart ablaze. You don’t have to tell anyone about this, it’s none of their business. The sooner you get real with yourself, the sooner you start living according to  your passion.  When you do this, you will begin to live life more in tune with your spirit.

I believe that every spirit is beautiful, and to attain the full potential of our inherently beautiful nature, we must start an inner revolution, and challenge the ideas and imprinting that have shaped how we sometimes feel about ourselves (read:  dissatisfied, frustrated, lonely etc)

This is actually something that has been on my mind for a long time, and this personal and spiritual growth process has been in the works for quite a while. I remember that as a young girl growing up as an outsider in a rural town I felt like I didn’t belong and I couldn’t really be myself. I had low self-esteem, was very sensitive and often picked on by other kids, so I kept a lot to myself and tried to get by, to fly under the radar so to speak. However, I FELT there was something more, so many days I would just daydream away, hoping that I would discover the answer sooner or later, or that I would miraculously just fit in and live my life in peace.

Well, that never happened in my small town, and to this day the main reason I believe that I didn’t lose my sanity was that I felt very connected to nature. I felt there was something bigger than me, and I just had to be still to find it.  I spent hours in the woods listening to the animals and the wind in the tress, and when I returned home I felt more peaceful and right with the world.  Even though I came from a very loving family, there were only a couple of family members who truly saw who I was and loved me for it, and I used to look forward to spending my all-too-infrequent holidays with them. So you see, in some ways I was very much alone, and definitely lonely.

As I got older I didn’t understand why my true nature seemed to conflict with what everyone (family and the school system) wanted for me.  My artistic nature was shackled and subdued by well-meaning family who wanted me to be successful, but successful in the way they believed was correct. This, ironically, was not how I saw my life unfolding, but I was also conditioned to do what I was told.  My inner rebel had been silenced – she who would have otherwise put up a huge fight.  Not only did this happen with me, but I noticed it happening all around me with my peers and it seemed to be normal, albeit unfair.

I believe that in spite of the well meaning intentions of parents who really did love us, most of us were morphed into a version of our parents dreams for us.  How difficult would it be to tell a father who wanted to learn to horseback ride as a child that his daughter really doesn’t care about, or even like, horses all that much?  Not to mention that she certainly didn’t appreciate that fact that the poor man spent all his free time in the barn caring for the horse he bought his offspring, or the fact that he spent thousands of dollars for this labour of love. 

What about the mother who enters her daughter into pageants that the poor child hates, then berates her for doing poorly?  In addition to taking her child away from her beloved art classes (or chemistry experiments etc), she unconsciously transfers all of her baggage about success, body image and weight issues to her child.  Where did these issues begin for Mom?  Possibly from having been called “chubby” several times by her nasty Auntie Bertha at a particularly vulnerable time in her life (read: birth to present). And where the heck did Auntie Bertha learn to be so nasty/passive-aggressive/miserable?  Who knows? But now 2 people, not one, suffer from self-esteem issues, and it really didn’t matter with whom or with what it started, it doesn’t have to be this way. 

If you are one of these people or someone similar, it can end here and now, with you.

I think that we are a product of the generations of love and dysfunction that have come before us, and it is up to us, and only us, to change the pattern, to break the mold.  In healing ourselves we can help younger generations respect their spirits and their true natures, and in turn teach them to take responsibility for the lives they want to lead.

If your inner rebel is back, and he or she’s a little angry, it may be time to start your own spiritual wellness revolution, albeit in a very quiet and (once again) “under the radar way”.  I believe that I am a product of all experiences in my life up to this point, good and bad.  I don’t hold a grudges against those who have loved me imperfectly, because they did the best they could. However, I have many questions and issues that I need to address, and to make progress in my own spiritual and personal healing, I need to focus on things such as:

Anger – this is a big one. Frustration at the people that I love the most, I have to be careful because I don’t want to hurt them, but I am somehow denying my own expression, a catch-22 if you will. I believe the anger comes from the bigger …

Grief – at having been denied the right as a youngster to be who I really was, and to be loved and accepted unconditionally.  Grief at knowing I can and should be more, but sometimes being too tired and afraid to step up to the plate and take a chance because of …

Self-doubt – I need to overcome the obnoxious inner voice that tells me things are impossible and my dreams are foolish. At an intellectual level I know that dreams are possible, even though they may not have been yet achieved. After all, the Wright brothers had to have the dream of flying before it could become a reality.  I want to hear the whisper of the wounded spirit who is telling me that I can heal and become my best possible version. She needs a voice, and I’m going to give it to her

I have also made myself a few promises, the biggest one of which is that from now on I am going to surround myself with the people who support who I really am, even if they think to themselves that I am nuts. That means that I am no longer going to tolerate negative comments from people who fail to respect me as a person, and who really don’t know me at all. You know what I mean, just laughing off a rude comment, which the person later claims is a “Joke” and that I “shouldn’t be so sensitive” (that’s a whole other article).  How about the people who pass judgement without really knowing my motivation for leading my life a certain way, or reacting to situations in a certain way?  Even better, people who made ridiculous assumptions about me without ever really knowing from where I’m coming?

Neither am I going to be manipulated or guilted into being passive so that I don’t ruffle feathers at family functions or work (ahem…) when either I or someone else is treated unfairly.

I am not going to take unnecessary and hurtful “constructive criticism” from friends or acquaintances who are reflecting their hurts and poor self-esteem onto me.

No point in being nasty to anyone, that’s just going to set me up for some bad karma, and is really a waste of time and energy. Instead, I am going to take responsibility for ME, and begin to live my best life possible, and I am going to try some tools that I have found to help me do it.

I have spent years furtively skulking in the self-help section of bookstores, hoping that some cute guy doesn’t see my stack of books.(ie How to NOT Feel Like a Loser Even Though Everyone in Your Family Thinks You’re Weird). In my search for spiritual enlightenment and growth, I am going to be honest about the ongoing process, the Good, Bad and the Ugly.

Fasten your seatbelts, put on your helmets, and “LET THE HEALING BEGIN”

Wish me luck, and keep checking in for updates!

SBR

Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, and the opinions expressed in this blog are just that and aren’t meant to be a substitute for professional counseling. If you feel that life is getting overwhelming, please reach out and speak to a mental health professional.