SpiritBeautifulRevolution

I complained I had no shoes until I saw a man that had no feet.
                                                                                                                            Author Unknown

Do you ever remember doing something for someone, and hardly being acknowledged for it?  Going that extra mile, trying to do your best, and being totally disrespected and disregarded in spite of your best efforts?

I do, and it sucks. 

Nothing makes me feel more ornery than someone who is ungracious and ungrateful towards something they’ve received, especially if it’s me who’s done the giving.

I really think that the Universe is like that. If you can imagine the Universe someone who gives the best of him or herself, then would you not say that a little gratitude is in order even when the gift isn’t perfect?

As an employee, if you went the extra mile every day to do a fantastic job, then your boss called you into her office to say that she has too much to do, and is going to pass more your way, how would you feel?  My guess is that you’d tell her (or at least want to tell her) where she could stick her “extra work”. (and it wouldn’t be pretty)  How motivated would you be to take on more?  My guess is that your motivation would quickly diminish to “if it’s not in my contract, I’m not doing it” levels.  After all, if your best isn’t good enough, why would you give more?

When you do something for someone, even if it’s not exactly what they wanted, but you did your best with what you had, it feels really awful to have them display a lack of gratitude.

Now, look at the Universe and what it’s given you. Even if your life isn’t perfect, can you think of a time when you weren’t grateful for what you had?  The vibrational level of disdain or displeasure is very low.  If you’re vibrating at a low level, what type of things are you going to manifest?  You guessed it, Einstein, you are going to get more crap.

If you turn it around, even though the “gifts” weren’t perfect, can you think of something to be grateful for?  How much higher do you think your vibration has risen in response to gratitude?  Now that you are vibrating at a higher level, since like attracts like, what type of things are you going to manifest?  More things you can be grateful for.

Example:  I would love to own my own home.  I have yet to envision the perfect home, but I know the qualities of its essence and how it will make me feel.  This could go one of 2 ways:  I can be bitter for not owning my own home (yet), which lowers my vibration and attracts more things of an equally low vibration,

OR … I can be grateful for the cozy, quiet apartment, where the rent is cheap, my utilities are included, I have a fantastic harbour view and I am one block from one of the main shopping districts (and only a 10 minute walk from my favourite pub)

TRUST me!  I choose to be grateful, because I know that as long as I keep my eye on the prize, and love the essence of what I want, I will get it. 

By-the-way – I manifested this bachelorette-pad of mine.  Yes sirreee, I sure did.  I wrote down all of the qualities and details of my home, and let the Universe take care of the “How”. I didn’t beg, I didn’t obsess, I just believed that somewhere in this city I call home, I would find it. (In my heart I felt that what I was asking for was realistic, and that’s something else I did right for myself at that point in time.  Since then, my concept of what is possible for me has grown considerably, stay tuned for my next manifestation). 

This apartment was the only one I looked at, because while it wasn’t perfect, it was perfect for me. I didn’t get everything I wanted (no balcony, no washer/dryer), but I came pretty damn close.  And you know what?  It’s fine.  I’m happy, and I am truly grateful for my little oasis of peace when I get home at night.

So the next time you’re complaining that you don’t like your home, imagine how it would feel to live in a cardboard box. Having a hard time?  Go sit outside in a snowstorm on a park bench for a few hours.  Are you feeling any gratitude for the roof over your head now?

You don’t like what your partner cooked for dinner?  Suck-it-up, princess. At least you have food on your table, and trust me, there are probably millions of people who would trade places with you for even for one bowl of mac and cheese.

My point is this – a little bit of gratitude goes a long way.  Now, go make a list of things that you have to be grateful for, and if you’re having a hard time, start with breathing.   The Universe will “appreciate” your gratitude.

One of the first things that you should do in utilizing the Law of Attraction is to identify what you don’t want in your life (see http://www.spiritbeautiful.com/law-of-attraction.html  for more pointers).  Even more importantly, you need to identify why you don’t want it.  And sometimes, my friends, this is not as clear as you may think.

You may look at your job, for example, and know that you hate it.  First of all, to hate is an emotion which requires a lot of passion (fuel) to even exist, so you’re focusing on something using a lot of energy… but I digress…

Why do you hate your job?  Is it the type of work you do, your environment, your boss, your co-workers, your paycheck?  All of the above?  Great, now break it down into smaller chunks so you can more easily analyze it.  That’s right, get out your pen and paper and stick with this.

Let’s say you can’t stand your boss.  Now, why is that?  What do they say or do (or don’t say and do) and how does it make you feel?  For example, let’s say that there was an oversight on a client file of which you made your boss aware. He said he’d deal with it, but now let’s say that since you passed the responsibility to where it rightfully belongs,  somehow it slipped his mind. Six months later, the mistake has come to light, and your boss is trying to pin this on you. How do you feel?  My guess is that you’re angry about being a scapegoat (and yes, you have every right to be).  Let me ask you this – how is this anger going to serve you?  Oh wait, let me tell you – it’s not.  If you sit and fester about this,  it will become a carbuncle on the behind of your life.  Now, turn it around -  what can you learn from this?

(Ok, this is a whole other topic, but I have to say it – document everything! Trust me on this, I have had employers in the past who have tried to make me the scapegoat for their screw ups and it’s not fun, but documenting things will cover your behind in a pinch)

So, you don’t like your boss because he won’t accept responsibility for his mistakes, and tries to blame you. Bravo!  And you know that you get pissed off when stuff like this happens.  You have been disrespected and unappreciated for having lived up to the role you were given (in your job description, which just so happens to change whenever your boss doesn’t want to do something and tries to pass it on to you.)

Once you figure out how to deal with it, you can then look at the situation from another perspective – and trust me, most of life is all about perspective.  So, now you can say this about the type of boss you want to work for – you would like to be respected for the work that you do, and the contribution you make to your company. You would like to work with people who are mature and reliable, and accept responsibility for mistakes they make, but also give credit where credit is due. You want to be a member of a team that works well as a unit, and is supportive of all of its members.  When you work in this environment and for this type of boss, you will feel happy and peaceful, and that you are a contributing member of the staff. 

See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

By identifying what you don’t want, and why you don’t want it, this will open the door to the possibility of realizing what you do want.                                                

                                                                                                                                   SBR

© SpiritBeautifulRevolution 2008

I am not a supermodel.

No surprise there, I guess, that of the X billion women on the planet, a paltry, minuscule percentage of us meet the criteria, and I am not one of them.

Does that mean I am not beautiful?  No, probably not. Even though I am only 5’2”, slightly voluptuous, with hair that isn’t as thick as it used to be, I probably am beautiful, at least to some people.

Funny thing is, though, I don’t feel beautiful.  In fact, even though I manage to pull off a façade of confidence, inside of me is a little girl who feels she just doesn’t measure up.

We can blame it on society and the media, and the unrealistic expectations placed on us as human beings, this unrealistic quest for “perfection”. I know that when I look at a magazine, I don’t see the airbrushed and staged image for what it really is. When faced with an image of perfection, I always feel a little uglier, a little “less”, and unfortunately this carries over into other areas of my life.

It’s very sad to me that I can’t appreciate my body for what it is, and what it can do for me. In spite of the fact that I can climb the side of a mountain from sea level to 2700 feet in the span of 2 or 3 hours, somehow I feel I don’t measure up. Even though I have survived a terrible car accident and have rebounded to “almost new”, I often fail to remember the miracle in that, and to appreciate the strength of my body. That my heart beats like it should, and even faster when I feel joy, still doesn’t resonate with me.

I was watching one of my best friends with her daughter not too long ago, a child of 5 who is confident and loving, and what struck me at that time is that my friend never skimps on praise of her little one. I am sure that even if this child didn’t measure up to common standards of beauty, her mother would still tell her she was beautiful, because she is. This little miracle has heard that she is beautiful from the day she was born, and she carries herself with confidence in this knowing.  In spite of all of the challenges that she will undoubtedly face in life, her mother is doing her best to ensure that her spirit is whole and honoured.

What is the most painful to me is that I don’t recall ever being told by my parents or family that I was beautiful.  What I remember is them saying that friends of mine, or other people’s children, were beautiful, but never me. Instead, I remember my mother trying to tame my naturally curly hair into a hairstyle that didn’t suit it.  I remember being told I couldn’t have another cookie because I was chubby. I remember the constant criticism for my weight, my hair, my crooked teeth, etc etc. I am sure that family members didn’t mean to be cruel, but what else can you call it?  I certainly don’t think they realized the pain that such comments caused, I do know that there is much denial, as if the pain of recalling their own imperfections is too much to bear. Did they realize that not only did they hurt my spirit, but that essentially they were hurting theirs as well?  How can you cause someone else pain and not feel some of that pain yourself, even if it is at a deep, visceral spiritual level that you choose not to acknowledge?  It stays with you, whether or not it is recognized.  It darkens the light of your soul, and makes you less than you are meant to be.

When I did stretch upward and become really thin, I was still reminded that if I ate too much I would gain weight. Now tell me - who in their right mind tells a 14 year old girl who is active and athletic that she needs to watch her weight, instead of encouraging her to eat well?  Apparently, my family must have had several brain farts, because I was never told this and the criticism continued.  Now at the present time, however, it is non-verbal, because my family has learned the hard way that my retaliation will be swift and extremely rude, even if we’re in public. The new approach is a dirty look if I have an extra cookie, thank-you very much, or having a magazine with a new diet dropped “innocently” on the coffee table in front of me… you get the picture. And I’m not even fat, for God’s sake.  When will this bullshit ever end?

A few weeks ago I was visiting my family, and we were going through old pictures. From a distance I saw a beautiful girl of 12 or 13 hugging my dog, and I was more than a little irritated at this intrusion into our family album. When I asked Mom who it was, she said it was me. I didn’t believe her until I looked close up, and to my surprise… 

It was me.  And I was stunning.

Disbelief turned to anger at the failings of my parents. Who were they to withhold the truth from me? Even if I had been butt ugly, wasn’t it their responsibility to tell me that I was beautiful anyway?  Would I believe that I was beautiful today, in spite of all of the negative body standards, had I been told this during my developmental years?  Probably, though there is no guarantee. But I do know this - had I heard it, then I would always have believed at some level that the people who are supposed to love me the most though that I was beautiful.  For this reason alone I would feel like I had earned the right to give of my beautiful self to the world.

What I’m trying to impart to you is this – even though you may have heard only criticism in your life, you are more beautiful than you realize. And I realize that physical beauty is only a small and (allegedly) insignificant portion of what it means to be beautiful. However, who doesn’t want to feel that they measure up to at least some of the standards of what it means to be physically beautiful?

I want to stress to those of you with young people in your lives  – For God’s sake, tell them you think they are beautiful. EVEN (and especially) if they’re not.  Because I can guarantee you this one simple truth – if they hear it, they’ll believe it, and when they believe it, they will live it.

When a person feels beautiful, he or she has the confidence to face the world and give the best of him or herself, not hide in shame for a perceived sin of being physically imperfect.  When a person feels beautiful, they see the beauty in others. From a spiritual perspective, sharing a simple but positive, life-affirming belief will raise not only your vibrational level, but that of everyone with whom you interact.

In a world of darkness, shouldn’t we try to seek the light? When surrounded by negativity, how can it do anything but make the world a better place if we acknowledge the inherent, divine beauty with which we were born, in ourselves and in those around us?  We should all feel beautiful just by virtue of existing on this earth. Just by being born, we have the right to feel beautiful.

Now, here’s a challenge for you: 

Tell someone, better yet, tell everyone, whom you love that you think that he or she is beautiful. Look him or her in the eye, and say it with feeling and conviction.  You can’t begin to know how that will impact them.  Something so small could have the potential to change the course of someone’s life, you just never know.

Next - look in the mirror, and say it to yourself, with passion and feeling. “I am beautiful, and I am a reflection of the divine beauty that created me.” Find something about yourself that you like, and don’t quit, keep saying it until you believe it, because it is true.

You ARE beautiful, and it is your responsibility to share it with the world. Now stop lolly-gagging and go do it. The world needs the best you have to give, it needs your divine beauty.